Quagmire Polevolts the Multiverse
by Garfieldfan23
Summary: *LEMON* *LEMON* *LEMON* That's what this story really is. I was feeling bored so I wrote this for more of an ironic fun. I need to be clear this story has lemons in it. It's summary is that Quagmire gets the Multiverse Device and abuses it. So I think that's it. I will need suggested Characters for Quagmire to interact with. Have a nice day.
1. Chapter 1

Quagmire's Harem

Chapter 1

"Man this bites! All the bitches are tapped! If only I could really tap, Marge Simpson but I guess not!" Quagmire said as he looked through a photo album of his conquests and sighed sadly as he turned on the TV "This isn't right! I'm supposed to be Quahog's number 1 stud slash border line….well everyone knows!" he looked at the TV "Man even this asshole as more desirable pussy! He isn't even using her! If only I…" he heard a loud noise outside and looked to see Brian and Stewie returning from an alternate dimension "What the?!" but then he heard Brian talking.

"Stewie that was amazing! Going into Twilight made it a lot more bearable! Thanks for letting me shoot those sparkling vampires by the way!" Brian said as he kissed his gun "Thank you second Amendment and I'll never question it again!"

Quagmire scoffed and whispered "I'll give it five minutes" but then Stewie pulled out his Multiverse remote "Hey what's that?"

"In full view of everyone but what the heck, Thank you multiverse remote!" Stewie said as he kissed the remote and Quagmire smirked as he got an idea "I'll also say loud enough for everyone to hear but…" he then shouted "I'm putting my very powerful, possibly evil device that allows people to go to alternate universes…including fictional ones in my bedroom next to my collection of My little Pony DVDs which is next to my bed on the window side!"

"Really?" Brian asked.

"What?" Stewie asked

"You really watch My Little pony and keep DVDs?" Brian asked as he looked a bit annoyed "Still your still sucking on Lois' tits so I suppose I can look past it" he then added "Thou I and a good chuck of people reading this sorry excuse of a Fanfiction are probably jealous of you"

"Hey come on! This story at least knows it's crap" Stewie said as he then added "I mean the writer started this by seeing that bit from an old episode of Quagmire raping Marge Simpson and wanting to point out that if Quagmire had my technology then this is what he'd do with it"

"You don't think we've broken the fourth wall enough?" Brian asked

"Brian! We've been breaking the fourth wall for years! Who cares if a fanfiction does it too!? Besides he promised he'd have me kill Lois for real in this story" Stewie asked and then Stewie looked at the screen "Yeah make it happen…guy who is Scottish and doesn't like Family Guy anymore"

"Wait so he doesn't even like Family Guy anymore! So what's the point of this?" Brian asked.

"Lemon" Stewie answered.

"Ah…well I suppose I should have suspected as much" Brian said "You Lemon writing Asshole!"

"Come on! He doesn't always write Lemons" Stewie said as they headed inside and gave Quagmire a moment to consider his options.

Later that night, Quagmire snuck into the Griffin's home as he spotted the remote "So now I have it! Um maybe I need to consider mastering its use!" he grabbed all the equipment needed to use the remote and ran home. Once inside he smirked at the photos on his phone of famous characters he wanted! "So who should be first?"

"Peter Griffin here…hi we hope you've enjoyed our opening chapter but now we need your help!" Peter says walking over a still image of Quagmire "Now we have many fictional women for Quagmire to hook up with but we need suggestions of whom to start off with" he paused "We're also required by the Writer's personal comfort that nothing Quagmire does in this story do they approve of! So please send in your suggestions and we'll get to it! Now I have better stories to appear in"

 **Author's Note**

 **Well you heard the American fat arse, I wrote this more out of spur of the moment and I need suggestions. Nothing is off limits in terms of who you can suggest. So suggest to your heart's content. I'll ensure that everyone's suggestions are viewed equally and fairly so that at least one from each person will get through. I may also credit the suggester but only if they ask me to.**


	2. Chapter 2

Quagmire's Harem

Chapter 2

3 days later

"Man that was easy" Quagmire said as he smiled at the Multiverse controller, he'd practised a lot with the remote travelling all over the place and learning there was a way to select universes more easily. He smiled as he looked at the TV, his smile grew bigger and said "Right time to pick bed buddy 1…." He turned on the TV swearing the first woman in the show or movie he watched would be the girl for him and he smiled as the TV came on with a bright yellow woman on screen "Marge Simpson…I could swear I did it before…aw well giggidy…I guess older than my normal fair but aw well" Glen had prepared a bag with supplies needed for his task, which included a hand gun, a gas mask, ropes, money and last but not least Chloroform. He selected the needed universe and smiled as he had learned a new trick for the Multiverse remote….he could pick certain moments of desirability.

"Which episode would you like?" asked a female voice as Quagmire arrived in the space between spaces, a large white void with a computer for selecting relevant information and he selected the episode using a touch screen icon "You have selected episode Large Marge…please promise not to masturbate to her"

"Yeah right…" Quagmire as he arrived next to a building with a sign that read, Stomach Stables Centre, in Springfield "Most teenagers balls dropped when they saw Marge in this episode" he looked out his phone "No signal? Oh that's right! This episode aired in November of 2002 and my provider wouldn't have my contract on record"

He then looked round the corner and saw Marge walking in with her family to the building. He walked in a side door and smirked, she still had the breast implants and would be put to sleep to have them removed! He found the operating room and began to wait for them to put her to sleep. But then he then had an idea, he snuck up to the anaesthesia machine and cut a hole into the pipe "Okay here we go Marge" the doctor said as he put the mask on her and while Glen put on his gas mask, everyone else in the room passed out as the gas filled the room.

"Giggidy!" he said as he slung Marge over his shoulder, she was his and he even gave her ass a squeeze. He pulled out the remote and went home. He carried her over to a hook dangling from the ceiling and tied her hands to it. He smiled as he sat down and waited for her to wake up as he had caught his first sex slave from an alternate world! She had no rights in his world so he could enjoy her all he wanted to.

Finally an hour later Marge awoke "Homey?" she asked as she then realised she was tied to a hook "HUH?! NO! HELP!" she screamed but Quagmire approached her and pulled down her clothes "NO! NO! NO! Who are you?! Where's my husband?!"

"Dead" Quagmire lied as he grabbed her large breasts "Damn you're sexy! I'm glad I waited till now to…" he then noticed Stewie sitting in the corner looking angry "Um hi Stewie?"

"Glen! What the hell?! You stole my stuff to kidnap women!?" Stewie asked as he looked at Marge with disinterest and then said "Well I suppose it's a good experiment but I'm willing to help you…I also travelled to a different world"

"Which one?" Quagmire asked

"The Pokémon world where I was able to master their pokeball technology to do this!" Stewie explained as he released the human inside the pokeball "Lois is trying to wean me again…so I used this technology to capture her" a woman with ginger hair sat on her knees as Stewie walked up and began sucking on her nipple "Her name is Misty…..turned 18 when I captured her…so yeah this story uses ageing up…bite me! I used a device to make her produce milk for me and she is completely willing to obey now. For example Misty make out with her!" pointing at Marge.

"Giggidy!" Glen said as he watched Misty walk up to Marge and began kissing her "So what do you want from me?!"

"Well it's a small request for a ton of free Pokeballs and free recharges of the device but I want you to find Brian a soul mate to make him happy and to drop your hatred for him! Seriously his wining is getting on my nerves" Stewie said as Quagmire nodded "Okay here you go" he handed Quagmire a large bag full of Pokeballs "Try one out"

Quagmire walked up to Marge and Misty grabbing Misty's ass as he tapped the ball against Marge's forehead "NNNOOOOOO!" Marge cried out as she was drawn into the ball. Quagmire having seen enough of the show threw the ball out "I'm ready master" Marge said happily willing to obey.

"Spread your legs" Quagmire ordered as he turned to Stewie and Marge lay back spreading her legs ready to service her, master "Once I've used Marge, Brian can have her" he then waited till Stewie had left and got out his cock "Beg for mercy!" he then leaned down and without ceremony pushed his cock into Marge's pussy "Damn for a house wife with 3 kids…your pussy is tight!"

"Yeah Homer is hung like a weasel" Marge said as she moaned "Oh god! You know how to treat this slut!"

"Good Marge! By the way I've always wondered why are you yellow?" Quagmire asked.

"Everyone in Springfield has jaundice" Marge joked but then moaned "Actually it's because we're all affected by the nuclear plant's radiation" she then kissed Quagmire "No more talk just fuck me harder!"

Quagmire began thrusting harder and soon pumped his warm sticky load deep inside Marge "Damn that was fun! But now to give Brian my sloppy seconds" he returned Marge to the ball "Hmmm maybe I'll hang onto her for a little longer"

 **Author's Note**

 **Right so I know this isn't very long but I wasn't sure how to have Marge in the story because well I always thought she seemed a bit old for Quagmire's taste! Also with Family Guy already having done this scenario I was tempted to write the chapter along those lines but the person requested I not kill the entire Simpson Family so no good there. I decided to make Stewie and Quagmire a team because I'm a lazy bugger who is writing this for shits and giggles.**

 **Anyway I need more requested characters so please if you read this suggest a character or more please remember no idea is too stupid. Also a word of warning think about whom you suggest, reason being is I want this story to have an end so I've written a list of five characters who if they're suggested(All five) will bring the story to an end. So choose wisely.**


	3. Chapter 3 Part 1

Quagmire's Harem

Chapter 3 Part 1

Quagmire smirked as he hid in the shadows of a large building, his prey was already gift wrapped for him and she was a hot kitty. Catwoman had been ambushed by Harley Quinn **,** now she lay bound and gagged on a conveyor belt. Now while Harley herself also had appeal to Quagmire, he liked the ease of grabbing Catwoman as Batman and Harley had their fight.

"You know I had a kitty once, ya know they don't always land on their feet" Harley taunted as she pretended to stroke Catwoman's head, who snarled through her gag and Harley smirked "Look at the bright, tomorrow you'll be feeding hundreds of hungry cats, the fun starts as soon as Mr J comes back"

"Don't wait up" Batman said appearing just above Quagmire's hiding spot. Quagmire had to admit that voice was something else and if his door swung the other way he'd have come for Bruce. He watched as Harley startedthe conveyor belt and Batman chased after her.

"Giggidy" Quagmire said as he crept over to the belt, Catwoman didn't notice him till he pulled her off and slung her over one shoulder. Her muffled screams became much louder but by the time Batman turned to see what was happening Quagmire had just hit the button on his remote. Going back home and dumping his new catch on his sofa "Damn you're sexy!" he began to stroke a hand up her legs and paused as he pushed his index finger between her legs. His finger did gently stroke the folds of her pussy as he did so but with his other hand he pulled her gag off "You came fully gift wrapped….when time comes to add Harley I be sure to thank her"

"You asshole! Just wait till Batman gets through with you!" Catwoman hissed as Glen began to laugh "What's so funny!?"

"You mean this Batman?" he asked as he threw a comic with Batman on the cover near her "This is a different universe where Batman is fictional! And you have nothing!"

"Why'd you kidnap me?! I have nothing to offer you" Catwoman asked clearly realising that Quagmire wasn't lying "Unless….no….no…Please Batman is the only man for me!" she then moaned Quagmire's finger teased her more "Asshole! People will notice I'm missing!"

Quagmire couldn't help but laugh harder "No they won't…you see Catslut…the beauty of all worlds is if you remove someone from one universe that universe course corrects" he turned on the TV with the episode he'd taken Catwoman from playing and the events played out as they should "To that Catwoman all this will be is a nightmare!"

"So you took me for sex?!" Catwoman said in disgust before Quagmire regagged her and she looked away depressed.

"Ding ding, give the kitty her milk but sex will have to wait. I have two more beauties to catch before that" Quagmire said as he picked her back up and stored her in a cupboard before using some chloroform to put her to sleep.

"I see your enjoying it…where's Brian's?" Stewie asked as he walked in looking a bit annoyed "And why didn't you use the "slutball" as you're calling them?"

"There something special about taking a woman without cheating" Quagmire said "But when it comes time to store her…I'll put her away safely" he licked his lips and then whispered "As for Brian I've been thinking maybe I get him someone like him…like perhaps Maid Marian from the cartoon Robin Hood film or Sally Acorn"

"Hmm I suppose that makes sense" Stewie said thoughtfully "Let me think it over"

"Anyway I have a date with an anchor from Channel 6 news" Quagmire said hitting the button on the remote. He appeared in a sewer waiting for his prey to come along soon the person came into sight "Hello, Rat King"

The Rat king jumped a bit surprised, he was holding a bound woman over one shoulder but then snarled "Damn it! You can't stop me! I'll make Miss O'Neil stop spreading those lies about rats!" April thinking she was about to save began struggling a bit but Quagmire smirked "Huh?"

"Listen Rat King I think you're right, rats are nice creatures and she has spread horrible lies…so I'm here to make her disappear from your life…give her to me" Quagmire lied knowing full well the universe would correct itself but the Rat King smiled "I also brought something that may provide payment"

"Oh?" The Rat King asked

"Here!" Quagmire said producing a full box of cheese. This is an 80s cartoon so Quagmire figured that an 80s cliché would work. As it turns out it did, the Rat King grabbed the cheese and gave April over "Another one to add to the set!" he hit the button and smiled as they appeared in his living room "And you have a really great ass!" he said as he groped April's ass and she squirmed clearly not enjoying the attention. Quagmire lowered her to the ground but only so he could grope her breasts "Man these slutty tits are huge! I can't wait to use you but for now I owe Spiderman and his cat a visit!" he pushed April in with Catwoman and smirked as he readied a slutball "Catching her won't be easy but considering how many times that metal arm guy has caught her…should be easy enough"

"Not so…she is as strong as Captain America" Stewie said as he was carried in by Misty "By the way her milk is better than Lois' milk…" he turned his head and sucked on her teat "MMM anyway…like the pokeballs, the slutballs only work when the target is weak enough….Blackcat is about level 30 so the slutball won't work the first time" He snapped his fingers and Misty dropped a case "These should even the odds"

"What is it?" Quagmire asked as he pulled out a space age looking suit.

"Super powers" Stewie said as he turned back to take a drink from Misty "It'll allow you to mimic powers so whoever you fight it'll match their weakness but only in the universe with the powers, here the suit is useless. For example if you fight Superman….you'll turn into Doomsday but only in the DC universe"

"Giggity! This means no one is safe!" Quagmire said as he put the suit on, in it's normal state it looked plain grey with a bright yellow Q over the left chest "I think I'll call myself Giggityman!" he then noticed a slot for the remote "What's the catch?"

"I want a young woman like Misty here to drink from" Stewie said "But I also want any…um men who fall under a certain criteria"

"Got it…well build and handsome" Quagmire said as he hit the button and disappeared. He appeared in a strange building where a yellowish, grey man with two tentacles coming out of his shoulders stood tying up his prize and Quagmire smirked "Alistair Smythe if I'm not mistaken"

"Who are you?!" Alistair asked as he turned only to get hit over the head with a metal tentacle.

"Oh just a imitator" Quagmire said as he wrapped on of the metal arms around Blackcat who woke up and began to struggle but was helpless as she was dragged over to her new master "Oh now you are perfect….big breasts…long beautiful hair that can change colour on demand and a very squeezable ass!" he then removed her gag.

"You fucking bastard! Just wait till Spiderman gets here and…" Blackcat began but then Quagmire ripped her costume off revealing her naked form "What are you….nooooooo!" she screamed as Quagmire pushed his hard dick into her ass "Spiderman will…oh fuck!"

"Show up?" Quagmire asked "I'm counting on it" he pushed her up against a wall as he groped her breasts "Scream for me! Let Spidy hear it!" the cat did as she was told and screamed as she could barely take Quagmire's huge length "Just a few more thrusts!"

"You'll pay for this you sick, Bastard!" Blackcat moaned out as she felt Quagmire's cum fill her ass "I hate you!" as Spiderman webbed in "Spiderman!"

"Hang on Cat!" Spiderman yelled but fell as Quagmire hit him with the metal arm mimicking Symbiont Doc Ock. Quagmire threw the slutball as Spiderman fell and caught him in it.

"Nooooo!" Blackcat screamed as Glen regagged her and the ball clicked. She squirmed but Glen still had a firm grip. He knew he had to put her in the slutball but he liked her defiance. Then he had an idea, she couldn't overpower him if she was tied up and then he could get Stewie to turn off her powers. He even had payment, Spiderman himself "MMMMM!" Blackcat struggled as Glen handcuffed her with four sets of handcuffs and tied her with a few extra lengths of rope "MMMMM!"

"Time to go home" Quagmire said.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Anyway that was part 1 and Part two will have more lemons I promise. Now as I keep saying Suggestions please! Even if it's one character…Please suggest it.**

 **Now I do need to explain, this story is meant for light hearted smut, so the explanations don't need to make total sense but I'll happily answer any questions.**


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